Have you ever asked this question? Some might quickly reply, “Of course, don’t most people ask that question at some point or another in their lives?” Others might recall asking the question in all serious innocence of someone in their circle as a child. How many of us have that purposefully asked that question of another a an adult? Do we even ask those dearest and nearest to us? Did we ask, if we are married, our partner before marrying? Or after?
Some might say, we don’t need to ask that question in some of these circumstances. We know the answer. Indeed? How so? I think some might answer, “I can see it in [the other.]” Other would say, “They show it in their words and actions.” Exactly - without the proof of what is said and done, how do we know love exists?
This brings me to the famous account of Jesus’ intimate moments with his follower Peter after Jesus’ resurrection (It is recorded in the last chapter of John’s version of The Gospel). They were back home, in familiar territory, where they had met three short years earlier. Peter and his companions had once again gone fishing. It was what they did. When they turned shoreward at dawn, having caught nothing all night, they saw a man on the beach. The man asked them if they had caught anything. When he heard the negative answer he told them to cast their net on the right side of the boat. It might have seemed an odd request but there was something that compelled them to do so. When they did so, they caught so many fish they could not pull the net full into the boat and simply dragged it along. A miracle?
It seems the men thought so, as, they then recognized this was Jesus, having seen him at least twice already since his resurrection, and whom they knew was entirely capable of performing miracles. Of course, they also knew his voice, one they had often obeyed, as they had felt they should now. And look what happened!
When they reached shore and disembarked, they saw a charcoal fire with fish on it, and some bread. Perhaps seeing that there was not enough fish to go around, Jesus asked them to bring some of what they had just caught. No miracle this time?
Peter obeys and then Jesus asks them to join him for breakfast. He took the bread and fish, blessing it in the recognizable way they had become so accustomed to, gave it to them.
After breakfast the men likely got busy taking care of their catch. We don’t know for sure what happened next, but reading what followed, I doubt Jesus would have been so insensitive as to initiate the conversation he did in front of the whole group.
Jesus wanted Peter’s attention. At one level, I suspect Peter was dreading this moment. So far, Jesus had said nothing to him about Peter’s denials while Jesus was on trial and Peter was outside, although Peter probably feared that was coming. At one level he probably just wanted to get it over with too, to clear the air between him and his Master.
Jesus asked Peter, “Simon, do you love me?” Note, Jesus did not call him Peter, ‘the rock,’ He went back to the beginning, to Simon, ‘a reed,’ instead of using the name he had given him when he called him to be his follower. Peter replied, “Yes, Lord, you know that I like you (according to the original language).” Notice the difference between the question and the answer. Jesus responded with, “Feed my lambs.”
Jesus asked again, “Simon, do you love me?” Peter gave the same answer. This time, Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” What’s the difference? Perhaps Jesus was thinking after the first answer, ‘If you cannot commit to more than simply liking me after all we’ve been through, maybe you are only qualified to minister to beginners, lambs.’ However, when Peter gives the answer the second time, perhaps Jesus thinks, ‘All right, you’re at least sticking with that answer. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you can also feed my sheep.’ Teach the deeper stuff to adults, the more mature believers.
Jesus asks once more, “Simon, Do you like me?” Notice the difference. Jesus, ever sensitive to where a person is as at, perceives that Simon is not ready to commit to anything more than ‘like.’ So, he’ll go with that. Jesus can use us where we are at, sometimes in spite of ourselves.
Notice that Peter’s cousin, John, who was nearby, (which we know because right after this exchange Peter turns around and sees John and changes the subject to ask Jesus about him) and wrote this, writes that Peter was upset because Jesus asked him this question three times. Why would he not be upset? He knew exactly what Jesus was getting at. He knew he had it coming to him. Peter had denied even knowing Jesus three times when Jesus was at his most needy. Now, Jesus was giving him three chances to say something different. He was giving hm three chances to make good.
However, Peter cannot bring himself to say, “I love you.” Was that some ‘macho’ fisherman thing? No, Peter, ever honest, knew that at that moment, knowing what he had done a couple of weeks earlier, could not commit to that higher level of affection, to love.
Jesus knows Peter has a way to go. He also knows Peter is the best he’s got to begin to carry on his mission on earth. He tells him again, “Feed my sheep,” but he goes on to tell Peter that he, Peter, will some day pay a high price for his being willing to keep liking Jesus. Then he gives him a chance to grow, but at the same time makes a request, which, if Peter complies, will give Peter the opportunity to gain what he is yet lacking,”Follow me.” It’s the same call he had given him when he called him from his fishing by the Sea of Galilee three years earlier. Then he had told him he would make him a ‘fisher of men.’ Now it is a shepherd he is calling Peter to be. We could write another whole essay, nay, a book, on what it means to be a shepherd. Peter had some idea though. He had heard Jesus speak of this, of himself being The Good Shepherd, giving some characteristics of such, and what the relationship of a good shepherd with his sheep entails.
As we know, once Peter was baptized with the Holy Spirit some two months later, he became an emboldened and powerful shepherd indeed. We can read all about it in the Book of the Acts of the Apostles, which, in our Bibles, follows the Gospel of John, the last chapter of which gives us this story.
As if there is not enough in this for us to stop here and mull over, there is one more point of utmost significance that needs to be made about this conversation. When things were on the line between Jesus and Peter, Jesus got right to the heart of everything. He asked Peter, ‘Do you love me?’ Not, ‘Okay Peter, you have been with me three years, what do you really know about who I am?’ Peter had answered that one before when he said Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of the living God. Nor did he ask him, knowing he was soon to leave Peter, at least from an earthly point of view, ‘What do you believe, about me, about what I have taught you? What do you remember that you are to feed my lambs and my sheep with?’
God, including Jesus in the flesh, is all about relationships. That’s why God created us, to be in relationship with God. God is love, and at its best, a relationship is based on love, grows on love, matures in love. Jesus did not ask Peter about all those things we as Christians disagree on, get into squabbles, divide and yes, even kill each other over - the identity of Christ, beliefs, doctrine, matters of ethics and practice etc. No, none of that. Jesus got right to the core. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “Put on the clothes of love, which is the bond of perfection, of harmony (his letter to the church at Colossae, chapter 3, verse 14).” Love never divides.
What did I write at the beginning? We know love from action. There is no love without action. What action(s)? For us, simple, in the words of Jesus himself, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and love your neighbour as yourself.” And in case you forgot, the Parable of the Good Samaritan makes it clear that everyone is our neighbour.
