Zechariah and Elizabeth arranged for a servant to accompany Mary back to Nazareth. It was really not prudent to send a woman alone on this journey, let alone a pregnant one.
Mary was relived to find on her return that Joseph had gone to work on a distant project and would not be home for some time. She settled back into the routine she was used to in the family from before her leaving. It almost seemed the family treated her better now, thought Mary. Maybe they realized what she contributed to the family and had missed her in her absence.
At the same time, Mary knew her abdomen was growing. She did her best to conceal it with the loose-fitting garments she wore and was generally successful. If Joseph’s children or the neighbours noticed anything, no one was saying anything. They all know I am supposed to be a virgin, thought Mary, so maybe they will just think I am gaining weight. She found that what she had learned when she was at her aunt’s had helped put her mind at ese about her future and she really did not worry. In fact, it seemed that the more pregnant she became, the more cheerful she seemed to all around her. Everyone else thought she was just fitting in better and treated her even better in return.
Eventually Joseph returned to Nazareth to take a break from his work and see to it that his family was doing alright. Now, if his family and neighbours had not made anything of Mary’s growing abdomen, perhaps because it was so gradual, the difference Joseph saw after his extended absence was very clear. She looked pregnant! What now? What should he do? Joseph was a quiet man, not one to jump to conclusions and confront people. So, her kept his thoughts to himself as the day progressed. However, Mary’s every movement just seemed to reinforce his first impression. Still, Joseph kept silent.
That night as Joseph retired though, when the time for his evening prayers arrived, he could contain himself no longer. In his distress, he scrounged around and found some sackcloth and threw himself down on it, prostate, hitting himself on the cheeks, He wept bitterly, saying: “How can I face the Lord my God? And what prayer shall I make about this maiden? Because I received her a virgin out of the temple of the Lord, and I have not watched over her. Who is it that has hunted me down? Who has done this evil thing in my house, and defiled the virgin? Has not the history of Adam been repeated in me? For just as he was in the hour of his singing praise, and the serpent came, and found Eve alone, and completely deceived her, so it has happened to me also.”
Joseph could not go on. Sleep would not come. He had to confront Mary. He stood up from the sackcloth, and called Mary, and said to her: “You are pregnant, are n you not? You have been cared for your whole life by God, so why have you done this and forgotten the Lord your God? Why have you brought low your soul, you who were brought up in the Holy of Holies?”
Mary was at a loss for words. She knew she was in her 6thmonth and now it really was no longer impossible to hide the truth. She had wanted so much to please this man who had given her a home, a somewhat normal life. And now this. She knew that to Joseph, she must look like someone who had deceived him and betrayed her God, She burst into tears and wept bitterly, saying: “I am innocent; I have not slept with any man.”
But Joseph said to her, in obvious anguish himself, “Then how could you be pregnant? Where did that come from?”
Mary replied: “As the Lord my God lives, I do not know what is really happening to me.” (Gospel of James 13)
Something in Mary’s tears, her protest of innocence, gave Joseph cause to reconsider. Indeed, he had never known her to really lie to him, let alone do anything else really wrong. Suddenly, Joseph himself felt a fear.
“Forgive me if I have accused you wrongly Mary,” Joseph said. Then, overcome with emotion, he did something he had never done to this virgin before. He took both of her small hands in his big carpenter’s hands. Mary looked up at him expectantly through her tears. Joseph, touched by the sadness in her luminous dark eyes, threw his arms around her and said, “Do not be afraid. We will get through this. We must see what the Lord says in answer to our prayers. Go to sleep now.”
Mary returned to her bed and Joseph retired from her, and considered what he should do in regard to her. He thought, ‘If I conceal her sin, I find myself fighting against the law of the Lord. The Law says she should die for this. But if I expose her to my neighbours, these sons of Israel, I am afraid lest that which is in her be from an angel, and I shall be found giving up innocent blood to the doom of death. What then shall I do with her? I will put her away from me secretly.’
Having come to this conclusion, Joseph finally fell into a sleep, though not a restful one. He was exhausted but only slept fitfully. He was in that tiring state of being half awake and half asleep when all at once he felt a strange warmth about him. When he became aware of it he also noticed it was becoming increasingly brighter. Was he dreaming? But no, it was as if he felt something, a presence in the room. He was overcome with terror. What was happening? Suddenly he felt as if the room was filling with blinding light! Then he saw it – the radiant figure of a young man at the foot of his mat. He was speechless but then the figure spoke:
““Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you will name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:20-1).”
Joseph gasped. This stranger was speaking to everything that had occupied his mind these last dreadful hours. Who was this and how did this figure know? He scarcely had time to begin to gather his thoughts, realizing he had had all kinds of questions for this person. But before he could summon the courage to open his mouth, the visitor was gone.
Joseph bolted up from his sleep. There was nothing unusual around him; the room felt cold and dark as usual at night. Then he realized, it had all been a dream. He sat momentarily in stunned silence. Then, as the force of what had just happened began to dissipate, he started to go over what he had just heard. ‘Joseph, son of David’ - Yes, he was a descendant of Israel’s great king. But he had never been greeted that way before. What did this mean? Yet, as he went through the message he had just been given, Joseph felt a strange sense of comfort and strength. This person - and it must have been an angel – knew all about his dilemma, his fears. And he had told him not to be afraid, but to take Mary as his wife. Suddenly, Joseph felt the beginnings of hope return. This, this angel, had also told him that Mary’s child was from the Holy Spirit, not from himself, not from any other man. That should have been a relief, and it was, but it was all still a bit much to really sink in as to what this was all about. What did this all mean? Joseph could not believe his ears. But then, strange things had happened before in his life. The whole affair of this young woman before him coming into his and his family’s life had been unusual. Over time, he had also learned of Mary’s unusual beginnings and life. The questions in his mind, he knew, only Jehovah could answer.
Joseph lay back on his mat and breathed a prayer, asking The Highest One for guidance and then also thanking him for sending this messenger to reinforce what Mary had said and give him some direction. Ultimately, he did fall asleep again. He was still tired but beginning to feel a little more at ease so it was a much better sleep than how the night had begun.
In the morning Joseph wakened again, rose from his sleep, and glorified the God of Israel in his morning prayers, the One who had given him this message of grace. Now, he could decide with peace to keep Mary. Somehow, it was all beginning to feel so right, so – good! (Gospel of James 14)
No comments:
Post a Comment